Dealing with basic concepts and lexical evolution about parenting with the perspective of Iranian-Islamic culture, on the base of the book Farzadegan

Title of the article: dealing with basic concepts and lexical evolution about parenting with the perspective of Iranian-Islamic culture, on the base of the book Farzadegan

1-Seyed Mehdi Kamali (Moein)[1]‌   2*- Nafiseh Heshmati Molaie[2]

[email protected]

Abstract:

This article is about a Reflection on Child and Wisdom, Based on the Book “Farzadegan”A thought about children(farzandan) and wisdom (farzanegi). Among the fundamental institutions and concepts, “family” holds paramount importance in human societies. While systems of legal and ethical education consistently exist within urban and rural spaces, manifested in administrations, schools, markets, and courts, they are all ultimately rooted in the foundation of the family. One who is committed to the process of life recognizes their role as a child (the essence of life) and strives to pave the way and nurture the growth of offspring (Farzadegan)[3]. Family is the root and origin of all moral and legal manifestations. This endeavor aims to reclaim the concept of family with a flexible and contemplative understanding. For within the cyclical interplay of “imagination and intellect,” human beings imbue the essence of their humanity with concepts and thoughts that shape their life’s journey. This very principle distinguishes humans from the realms of plants and animals, beckoning them towards the unique domain of humanity.

To investigate the authenticity and roots of educational and developmental culture, childbearing, and child-rearing, which constitute the core of this article, we must first delve into the general concepts within this domain. These include nurturing and education, the home environment, and the processes and influences encountered beyond the home. Subsequently, considering the etymology, originality, and roles of words, we will explore the concepts (terms) of mother, father, and child. It is crucial to emphasize that the term “parent” should be defined from within the core of the child (the essence or magnificence of life) and not be limited to the mere act of biological procreation. Therefore, the term “Farparvar” (nurturer= breeder of glory[4]) is proposed as an alternative to “parent” for the discerning consideration of scholars. Using “Farparvar” highlights the importance of recognizing who undertakes the care and upbringing of the essence of life. Additionally, examining the methods and strategies for enhancement, within the realm of thought, is essential. Those responsible for education and upbringing must possess optimal psychological well-being, sound mental health, and an authentic essence to embark on this path. It is imperative for researchers to prioritize fundamental concepts more than ever before.

Keywords: Child (farzand), Wisdom (farzanegi), Nurturing, Education, Mental Health, Psychological Challenges (Ravanshenasi)[5]

Introduction:

Various paths exist for establishing the framework of a family. In addition to biological childbearing, non-biological childbearing (adoption) offers an alternative for families facing infertility, those capable of providing care but not inclined towards pregnancy and childbirth, or those with philosophies diverging from biological parenthood. Adoption can serve as a means to complete the family structure and experience the role of parents.Between the two methods of biological and non-biological childbearing, and between biological and adoptive parents, similarities outweigh differences. Obstacles to childbearing also exhibit parallels between biological and non-biological approaches. For instance, economic factors, encompassing family income and child-rearing expenses, influence both the desire for and the perspective on childbearing. From the standpoint that both lead to parenthood for women and men, fulfilling the innate desire for children, there is no distinction. We are all creations of God, rendering racial prejudice and emphasis on shared ancestry irrelevant, except for highlighting the greater responsibility of individuals involved in the child’s birth at the initial stages of parenthood (Heshmati Molaie, Koochak Entezar, Golshani, 2021).

Some individuals cite the words of renowned figures as evidence for their beliefs, which we will elaborate on. For example, Khalil Gibran (2002) stated: “Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls.

Attitudes are learned, and one way to create and modify attitudes is through the social learning process. In this regard, the interactive role of psyche and media cannot and should not be overlooked. Classical conditioning, subliminal conditioning, attention to the proximity between learning and role modeling, the necessity of eliminating myths and false beliefs, highlighting the advantages of adoption, instrumental conditioning, avoiding categorization of individuals based on their procreation type, using more inclusive terms such as “nurturers” and “children”, paying attention to the importance of observational learning, and considering the role of social comparison are all important because we tend to conclude that our thoughts and attitudes are correct to the extent that our views agree with the views of desirable individuals. Based on this, it is clear that for fostering a culture of adoption, the role of influential individuals in society and those with many followers is very important, and each of them can be inspiring and influential for the group that identifies with them. There is a need to identify the perceived threat from opponents and to provide public education and psychological inoculation against anti-cultural behaviors. Attention to the effect of cognitive dissonance is also essential. Also, the influence of faulty cognitive processes on incorrect perceptions cannot be ignored. Overgeneralization, insufficient information, or the use of specific mechanisms that can defend a person against blaming behaviors are obstacles to attitude change. Mechanisms such as moral justification, euphemistic labeling, advantageous comparison, diffusion of responsibility, dehumanization of the target group, and blame attribution are examples of such mechanisms. Overall, these self-exculpatory processes are justifications for many of the inappropriate behaviors of humans, not weak moral standards or personality flaws. It seems that to resolve the discrepancy between people’s previous attitudes about childbearing and parenting and the desired attitude, conditions can be created where they support desirable behavior in the presence of people, for example, in a conference hall or on a social network. They should think about their past behavioral failures and the reason for their inappropriate opposition to this issue and share their experiences with others, and efforts should be made to give them the opportunity to change their behavior. Resistance measures in this area should be identified, and people should be familiar with appropriate ethical principles in this area. Also, when we talk about attitude and attitude change, all the topics related to persuasion are worth considering and utilizing, and here the characteristics of the messengers, recipients, and the type of message are important (Taj Mazinani, Heshmati Molaie,2023).

In summary, it can be said that raising children is very sensitive, and as a result, the consequences of the entry of uninformed individuals into this field will affect current and future generations. Therefore, correcting people’s attitudes in this field can be the basis for moving towards promoting the culture of parenting in society. Defining social norms in this area is necessary, but it is not enough without considering the basic concepts that affect attitudes (Kamali, Heshmati Molaie,2023). Based on this necessity, this article discusses the philosophical foundations of child-rearing and education to provide a fundamental solution for improving the situation of societies. In this article, from the perspective of Iranian culture and the Persian language, first, the concepts of education, upbringing, home, and family, and then the concepts of mother, father, and child are discussed.

Main Text:

It is important that a person who holds the position of a university professor, a court judge, a lawyer, a psychologist, or a physician… should also have the existential authenticity[6] commensurate with it. Not that they are just executive agents who have gone to university but have no passion or existential authenticity in that path. But it seems that nowadays, sometimes such agencies are created without considering the inner competence of individuals and only based on their apparent qualifications. Understanding the “nurturer” and the “nurtured” is the most important issue. Both must have certain psychological characteristics. These characteristics should include their special abilities, i.e., the innate authenticity of the psyche (Ravan)[7], and on the other hand, efforts and dynamism worthy of their nature. A person who goes through the stages of psychological development should prefer the path of politeness, knowledge, and wisdom to the path of arbitrariness and selfishness. This reveals the same authenticity (constant striving), whether a person is ready to learn and go beyond their mental boundaries or not! Today, we have not properly considered the role of literary language, which is culture-building and even an essential background for scientific works. Our so-called scientific society today, without the bridge of literature that organizes the chaos of the household, has entered scientific languages and, without organizing household behaviors, engages in research and studies that lack the necessary literary infrastructure to enter the scientific rite. Unaware that someone who is not qualified to move on the path of the psyche(ravan), then, is trapped and imprisoned in their own mind, therefore, they cannot have a pure participation in the ever-changing matter of education, and with the same exclusive mind, they understand and prove everything (Kamali, Heshmati Molaie,2021).

A person who has not gone through the stages of psychological development[8] but has acquired a lot of information from various sources, but does not have the essential and worthy identity characteristics of the “concept of a mother,” no matter how hard they try to learn something, automatically, because they do not have a suitable container or platform for stability, they are incompetent “in motherhood.” A person who does not love their child from the heart but knows mentally that they should love their child and is self-blaming always faces a contradiction between their behavior and their mind! Is it not true that someone who has convinced their mind that they should be a good teacher and educator, but knows that they do not have enough heartbeat for their students, and may make behavioral mistakes, beat them, or humiliate them! Because truly, the blossoming of deep love has not been learned in their hearts, they have not seen the light of knowledge in their souls and psyches, and they have not had a precious upbringing; but they know it mentally, and sometimes they feel guilty that they should do such right behaviors. The literary language is the language of understanding real tragedies, epics, separations, losses, and joys; it is with the literary spirit that we understand what connection is, what separation is, what sameness and difference are; in the literary language, it can be understood that the bond between mother and child is not a final bond, but a preliminary relationship, meaning a relationship in which the mother and child feel secure. They realize that security is not something that is sufficient only in this mother’s arms; security is a long and distant quest that one must engage in; life says that one must pursue higher concepts and values, and this is what the mother’s existence, whether the mother wants it or not, teaches her child. A mother who is not literate makes her children’s souls and attitudes infertile and closed, meaning she never allows them to leave the language of the home; she puts them under so much obligation and makes the child indebted to her that they will not know any other way in life except guilt and recognizing red lines! And a good mother is one who follows the path of human values: I am your mother, and you realized that security and insecurity both existed beside me. Now that you have taken security from me, learn how to have faith in your world, to have faith in your existence so that you can find the path to the ultimate safe valley. Increase your own values, my child, courage and trustworthiness are important values in life, and if you are cowardly and passive, then you will always be a follower or servant of masters, and this time you will be left behind in life… But if a person is not developed, whether they become a mother or any other position, even if they have reached scientific, artistic, or philosophical discussions, they will reduce science to their household beliefs, philosophy to their sense of insecurity, and diminish art. The literary language is the language of understanding real tragedies, epics, separations, losses, and joys. We came to this point that understanding the “nurturer” and the “nurtured” is the most important issue. Both must have certain psychological characteristics. These characteristics should include their special abilities, i.e., the innate authenticity of the psyche, and on the other hand, efforts and dynamism worthy of their nature (Kamali, Heshmati Molaie,2023. kamali,2022).

A society can accommodate three types of people: the wise, the imitator, and the commoner. A wise person is one who uses new attitudes to examine previous attitudes, has new ideas, is always thinking about things, distinguishes between right and wrong, and is generally free and independent of positions and employers. An imitator is one who is trapped in the visual-geometric realm of the mind. It is necessary that people have effort, courage, patience, and creativity for their own development (striving to elevate the psyche). Not that they should be satisfied with gaining information and assuming designed roles to feel a sense of identity. If a servant had knowledge of the appearances of the court, it does not mean that they too can be among the nobles of the court. But in an environment where unqualified appearance-oriented individuals are present, such a thing is possible (Kamali, Heshmati Molaie,2021).

Therefore, based on merit, it should be considered who the educational authorities, practitioners, and implementers really are. This distinction is important whether they are imitators who act in the fixed beliefs of their role models’ minds, using data-driven tools and virtual personalities, or whether they truly benefit from growth, development, and productivity from the depths of their nature and competence! This is not about being a master, but rather an emphasis on psychological growth, the method and approach of which should be considered and researched (Heshmati Molaie, Koochak Entezar, Golshani, 2024).

Now we need to address what “education” is because anyone who wants to engage in “teaching and education” must necessarily have the characteristics of “teaching and education.” The Arabic word “Ta’leem” is equivalent to the Persian word “Amoozesh” (teaching or instruction). The Arabic word “Tarbiat” is equivalent to the Persian word “Parvaresh” (upbringing or nurturing). The purpose of this discussion is to consider the linguistic structure as a valuable part of the foundation of education. And other parts such as “holism”, functions, and other inductive and deductive features should be considered to recognize the essence of education because one of the most important ways to recognize the roots of this authenticity is to find cultural phenomena that are manifested in language. Understanding the linguistic source can pave the way for us to examine the essence of education more purely. From the perspective of Ravankavi,[9] attention should be paid to the origin of words in each language because the beginning of the movement in psychological growth will be from the language of the home, that is, from where we came. What we call Ravankavi in the Persian language is different from psychology or psychoanalysis (Kamali, Heshmati Molaie,2023).

The meaning of literacy has been lost in the information age, and currently, anyone with an academic degree or proficiency in English and computers is considered literate. However, literacy is related to rationality. A literate human being requires the refinement that comes from wisdom. Therefore, literacy is something that makes a person wiser(Farhikhteh)[10]. That wisdom can be genuine or superficial. Genuine wisdom possesses authenticity, and this authenticity lies in the magnetism of individuals, in their determination and persistence in their endeavors. Authenticity never implies who my parents are or whether I was born a prince or princess; that is more about inheritance, not authenticity. True authenticity refers to whether or not I am cut out for something. To be authentic means that what I do aligns with my existential desires, to the point where I feel I have no other choice within my existential inclinations. In the current era, the pursuit of degrees, a form of modern slavery, has led to people being bombarded with information and expected to absorb it without regard for whether this information aligns with their existential authenticity and inclinations. There are times when someone possesses genuine talent in a particular field, and other times when someone is merely intelligent and, as a result, can excel in acquiring information from others. Today, we should not assume that if someone holds high academic qualifications in a specific field, it automatically means they are specialized and literate in that area. It’s possible that only two things were sufficient for their success: intelligence and the ability to conform. In such cases, we are not dealing with authenticity (Kamali, Heshmati Molaie,2023).

Learning is different from acquiring. Learning is a process of becoming (transformation) and a journey, while acquiring is a process of having. If we have become something, no one can take it away from us, but if we have something, we may lose it one day. Therefore, true literacy is literacy that transforms a human being and turns a worm into a butterfly. Once it becomes a butterfly, it cannot and does not want to turn back into a worm. This is one issue. The fact that the global community is currently trying to increase the information of families is like taking the wrong path to achieve a specific goal and deviating from it and not reaching the destination and not being able to experience happiness. Therefore, we must first ask people to refine their existence a little and throw away their information overload and clarify their heart feelings a little. First, we need to ask ourselves what is the passion that exists within us so that we can find our originality so that we can be on the path of our literacy and find our way of rationality. Passion is not just about our love and excitement. Passion is something that whether I am happy, sad, or surprised, I experience happiness in any case. Happiness indicates that we can be kind. Kindness means being the guardian of love and love means covenant and friendship. It is very important to learn to be happy. We may be afraid, but if we recognize the message of fear, which is courage, we realize that a person who has courage (moving in fears) is happy. So, to be happy, we don’t necessarily have to be happy. If we realize that when we are sad, sadness is not a sign of loss but a sign of separation, we can be happy. Separation is related to longing, and this longing can be a prelude to a proud and epic movement in its highest form. Anger and rage are different. In times of anger, we feel that something has provoked us or frustrated us, and we go to take revenge or throw our anger around aimlessly. But the anger of a happy person has a message of change. A person who does not have a fundamental attribution error is a person who understands these distinctions according to his literacy and rationality. The prerequisite of literacy is rationality. Rationality is originality. Originality is a constant, cohesive passion that is not prone to temporary excitement and has the ability to express itself in any excitement. It should be reminded that the “fundamental attribution error”[11] and previous stereotypical perceptions[12] have a background of schema and lead us away from the path of rationality. Schemas are mental and intellectual frames of reference that we have about an individual (fundamental attribution error) or a group (stereotypical perception (Kamali, Heshmati Molaie,2023).

Truly educated and literate people are people who understand hour (Zaman)[13] as a general matter and believe that they do not belong only to this era but also to their children and future generations. We have to find these people and make them the headlines of our lives. We must find these original people in society and apologize to them for preferring people who were not original and were hiding behind the titles of doctor, engineer, etc., to these original people. Another important issue is that many of our educational systems are influenced by the alignment of beliefs rather than scientific topics, and this has many undesirable consequences. Because the more thoughtful and inviting to wisdom the customs and traditions are in restoring their valuable roots, the more they will inevitably bring it closer to scientific and philosophical growth (gawalesh). This is where that upbringing may flow more intelligently, more consciously, and toward what it should be and is an example of scientific and philosophical reasoning. If the value system is rooted in a series of beliefs, it is rooted in a culture that rejects and denies scientific or philosophical growth, then as a result, the development of superstitions in that society and that culture will be much greater. Attribution errors, stereotypical perceptions, and other cognitive errors about families must be sought in cultural roots. The greed of desires or the fears of people cause them to voluntarily create customs and traditions in their relationship with the group, which have no relation to their real values, and this issue causes the spread of superstitions because they have remained in the stage of domestic growth and do not know the ways of science, philosophy and thought, as if these household beliefs become sacred to them. Superstition is nothing but self-righteousness. No self-righteous person enters the growth of science, let alone the growth of philosophy! So this is why when he encounters science, art, or philosophy, that’s when we say he reduces science to his domestic beliefs, he reduces philosophy to his feelings of personal insecurity, he diminishes art (Kamali, Heshmati Molaie,2023).

Superstition can have devastating effects on both the individual and the lives of others; Therefore, in order to reduce the psychological and physical damage of the superstition of superstitious people to themselves and others, it is necessary to try to eliminate superstition. If we assume the superstition that good and bad luck exist, I have not found anything more ominous than ignorance and the delusion of omniscience in the universe. Therefore, it is necessary to eliminate superstition with awareness to prevent the damage caused by superstition and superstition. But awareness is different from informing because it requires psychological and scientific conflicts. If a mother and father are in a scientific and philosophical sense, their attachment to their child is of the same kind, but if they only acquire scientific information and keep their feelings at a domestic level, their confusion and bewilderment lead to speculation, and speculation paves the way for the acceptance of superstitions. Therefore, first, we need to pay attention to learning the important examples of education, not getting married and having children without reaching literary and scientific conflicts (Kamali, Heshmati Molaie,2023).

When the roots are not right, we go the wrong way. Regarding the subject of parenting, we must first address the root, which is the concept of a child. Our concept needs to be more general, that is, the family should be defined so that the father, mother, and child are defined under it. As long as the true values of the family are not considered, the role of the father and mother will also be suspended and multi-directional. As a parable We must have an understanding of the tree, not a particular tree. Expertise means knowing the plane tree, not knowing the tree. But the whole is not equal to the sum of its parts! A home or house is a place where blood flows in our veins (emphasis on the word KHaneh in Persian which comes from khan or khoon, which means blood, the same blood). The origin of this word is blood. A house means a place where our attachments and feelings of attachment are formed, and in itself, we can consider the concept of bonding and attachment at the core and essence of the house. The members who are in the house are called a family. So the mold of a family is made up of those who come together to establish a sense of unity and protect the blood. Blood is not meant to be purely racial. The blood of a human being is valuable, so this is where when we give birth to a child or adopt a child, both of these things we do are protecting human blood. Now it is the turn of family members. Unfortunately, we see that the common Persian equivalents have merely translated parenting into procreation, reproduction, or childbirth. In this equation, we see a shortage because it does not include the concept of adoption. Because a parent or a birth parent only refers to someone who has given birth, while we must definitely replace other meanings for the word parent because the meaning of family is the protection of human blood. Therefore, it has been suggested that the word caregiver be replaced with parents to correct the inadequacy and limitations of that word. The child is made up of two words: “Farr” and “Zand”. “Farr” means splendor and greatness. “Zand” also means to live and to be great. Zand is a greatness that is alive, not dead, and has the ability to analyze and progress. Farr also means lightness or brightness. The light of life, the light of the individual. As you know, a husband and wife can only stay together if the question of children is definitely among them. Now, this child can be a spiritual child, such as their common goals, like saying our common mission is the land, or helping others, which is a kind of spiritual child. Or there may be a physical child (Kamali, Heshmati Molaie,2023).

If a person is fixed in deficiency, it means that he is far from virtuous people and cannot be a good parent. The child deserves a child and needs parents. So here again, the issue of couples was raised before the issue of children. Whether they have been able to grow or are moving forward with the same sense of inferiority and are going to lay the foundation for an inappropriate family. The goal is not to get married or get a wife, the goal is to be allies. The meaning of a spouse means an ally, which means following the same path of virtue, the path of superiority and human growth, protecting this blood, giving birth to the splendor of life, and taking care of the splendor of life. These are the things that are important.

When parents are worthy of adopting a child through adoption, they are supposed to teach their child destiny that we are not your ultimate god and your ultimate god is somewhere else. Fate has dictated that you be born from other people and be accepted and raised by us. Fate has dictated that your mother and father be other people, fortunately, we no longer live in the time of racism, although these racisms exist, but at least they are not in slogans, and we must purify these slogans. Your blood is not supposed to be one thing and our blood is another, we are all human and we are all the same, and it was appropriate and expedient for those who gave birth to you not to be the rest of your life and we are. Fortunately, these muscles are not like in the past that because the issue of tribal blood is involved, a person must look for his father and mother when he grows up and say that I want my blood father and mother. Because this issue dates back to a time when tribal culture was a very colorful culture, but now that the world has become a small village and everyone is closer to each other, and fortunately, there is a lot of talk about the harmony, empathy of human beings, and the blood of all of us. So these should be explained, and this is the duty of parents who have adopted a child and have taken him under their protection and have made him a balm for their wounds (referring to the word child, which means stitching a wound) and have recognized him as the splendor of their life, meaning they have recognized him as their child, and now you see, these words that I am saying are all literary (Kamali, Heshmati Molaie,2023).

It is crucial for contemporary students to align their dissertations with these fundamental concepts. The influence of media on the level of awareness within a society, its role in shaping values and counter-values, and its ability to introduce audiences to appropriate role models are all of paramount importance. For instance, the integration of deserving words can be facilitated through the effective use of media. Each one of us can serve as an active media entity in this domain and contribute to the best of our understanding and abilities. Notably, a greater responsibility in elevating global culture falls upon the shoulders of educated and free-thinking individuals who possess an inherent capacity to embark on this path (Heshmati Molaie, 2021).

Discussion and Conclusion: To comprehend and enhance the culture surrounding childbearing and child-rearing, it is essential to first direct our attention towards the overarching concepts within this realm, such as education and the family unit. Subsequently, taking into account the authenticity and influence of words in shaping societal cultures, we should delve into the notions of motherhood, fatherhood, and childhood. It is imperative to emphasize that the definition of a parent must stem from the essence and core of a child (the splendor of life) and should not be solely confined to biological procreation. Hence, a term like “Farparvar” (meaning “nurturer” or “upbringer”) proves more fitting than the term “Valed” (parent). Here, it is crucial to consider who is willing to assume the responsibility of caring for the “Ferr-e Zendegi” (the splendor of life). Moreover, all those involved in education and upbringing must possess optimal psychological development, a sound and healthy mind, and a genuine disposition suitable for this path. There is a pressing need for researchers to delve deeper into these fundamental concepts.

 Refrences

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[1] PHD in Social Psychology

[2] Department of psychology, Central Tehran Branch, Islamic Azad University, Tehran, Iran .
[email protected]

[3] In ancient Iranian language, child is composed of two words: farr= magnificence or glory and zand= breadth

[4] The word glory or magnificence(splendor) and the other hand, Farr must be measured in its cultural connotations and these translations only show some of the place of the word.

[5] Iranian psychology

[6] Ex- sistance= standing out. Here I mean from where we stand and we have the capacity to move outside of ourselves.(moein kamali, the persian language book of philosophy of Moshahede2019)

[7] Ravan in iranian culture means a selective and active soul (Avesta- Religious text) from wich knowledge is also obtained, while in western literature, pyche is a soul that cannot be easily recognized without the help of logos (refer to the origins and the myth of psyche in sources such as the Iliad or the Golden ass). Kamali 2023

[8] In Farzadegan book, the persian word of “Gawaleshe Ravan” is used for psychological stages, which means development along with blessing.

[9] Iranian psychoanalysis. but Ravan associated with individual knowledge and explorations, not the analysis of psychic processes

[10] Grown in farr

[11] Attributing cross-sectional behaviors to individual characteristics.

[12] General and thoughtless judgment.

[13] Understanding hour as a whole and not a piece of time. In persian language hoor means sun and determining time. Kamali 2022-persian book of zaban va zaman